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Thursday 11 October 2012

FUNNY AMERICAN VIDEO

FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER

FUNNY VIDEO

KENYAN. AMERICAN, NIGERIAN WITH CANNIBALS



A Kenyan, American and Nigerian were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if... they pass a trial.

The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces
of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.

... The Ghanaian man came back with 10 apples, and then the King explained the trial to him.

King: You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The American arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king
explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be
easy he swallowed up to eight, on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The Kenyan and American met in heaven... The Ghanaian man asked, "why
did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial"....then the American man
replied, "I couldn't help it, when i saw the Nigerian man coming with Watermelons!!!

THE PRIEST



The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.
"No, no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.
"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.


CREATION PROCESS



A primary school teacher was teaching her pupils Christian Religious Knowledge , after few minutes of teaching, the teacher asked, what is  the materials God us to create human being, immediately all hands were up, the teacher call on one of the pupils, the boy said, breath of God, the whole class laughed, but the teacher then go further by explaining to the boy that before the breath, what was the material God used to mould us and a girl quickly said clay, everybody clapped, the teacher said good answer, after few seconds of clapping one of the boys screamed and said, stop, stop, please teacher don’t teach us non-sense, are you saying that clay was the only materials used, that is totally wrong God also use charcoal and a very good example is you. I hardly see someone as black as you are.

STUPID TOMI



Tomi heard in the news that five (5) people die in a car accident.
The following day, in classroom the teacher asks Tomi to count from 0 to 10
Tomi: 0 1 2 3 4 6 7 8 9 10
Teacher: Where is 5?
Tomi: Yesterday I heard on the news that 5 died in a car accident.

LAWYER LIE



A married lawyer made love to his girl-friend inside his car one day. On getting home, his wife saw the girl's pant in the car. She got mad and tore it to pieces screaming: Honey! Honey!!! What is this? The lawyer calmly replied: My God, you have just destroyed evidence of a rape case worth millions of Naira. She quickly fell on her knees apologizing Honey please forgive me God will bring another one.