Doctor foresee

A woman visited a Doctor.
Woman: Doctor, I have a problem. I am...
Doctor: I know your problem. You always dream that you have become a horse, right?
Woman: How do you know?!
Doctor: Your pony tail hair style.

funny joke

In the school secretary’s office the phone rang and the conversation between the secretary and the caller goes thus-:

Caller: My daughter will not come to school today

Secretary: Okay, how did the girl relate to you?

Caller :- this is my mother calling

Akin's Long prayer

 Akin gets into a pharmacy & says 2 d pharmacist, "Hello, could u give me condom? I'm going 2 my girlfriend's place 4 dinner & I think I may b in with a chance!" D pharmacist gives him d condom & as he was going out he returns & says, “Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too, she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me & I think I might strike a luck there too." the  pharmacist gives him a second condom & he was leaving, again he turns back & says "Give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute & when she sees meshe always makes eye contact & since she invited me 4 dinner I think she is expecting me 2 make a move. During dinner, Akin sat with his girlfriend on d left, d sister on his right & d mum facing him. When d Dad walks in, Akin lowers his head & starts d dinner prayer."Dear Lord, bless this dinner & thank u 4 all u'v given us".10minutes after, my friend Akin was still praying "Thank u Lord 4 you kindness." Another Ten minutes gone by & he is still praying, keeping his head down, very close 2 d table. They all looked at each other surprised, & his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him & whispered, "I didn't know u'r so religious."Akin replies, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!”

See wahala!!! If you were Akin...what will u do

The hungry man

A man went into a nearby restaurant to have his lunch. Gotting to the restaurant he orders for Rice with 7 meats, 3 fish and 5 snails. Suddenly a dog walk straight into the restaurant and go straight to the man and  started barking, the man was frightened and wondering why the dog is barking at him, "but there are many people in here, why don’t you go to them, why me," the man exclaim. He decides to move to another Table, as he was moving the dog followed him and was still barking, the man was confuse and decide to call the woman at the restaurant:-

Man: - Pls come and help me I don’t know what this dog want from me or did he want to eat.

Woman: - ha sorry sir, is the Dog’s plate we use to serve you

Man: - what!!!!!! Am finished

Swallowed Film

The conversation between a doctor and a patient goes thus:

Patient: I have swallowed the film from my camera

Doctor: we'll just have to see what develops

Ben's stupid idea

Benson was  frowning his face all over the house, so when his mother notice him, she ask why are you frowning your face Ben, then Ben answered and said  mother I   want a brother. Then his mother said," you know that your dad his not around, so when he his back we would talk about it". Then Ben’s face brightened up and he said, “Mom I have an idea. Since dad is away, why don’t we give dad a big surprise when he comes back!". And his mom asked,” which surprise?" and Ben said,” lets  impregnate you before he comes back!"

A man's confession

A man was dying on his sick bed. His wife sat at the edge of his bed comforting him.
The man looked at his wife and said, "My love, you have always been there for me even when I wrong you...  I must confess my sins ", but his wife say “There's no need to confess" holding his hands.
"No, no!” I must confess because I want to die a peaceful death. He said, “I slept with your mother, sister, and your best friend.”
His wife replied: “What!!!” well I know dear, but please relax. You don’t have to talk too much is dangerous. So just rest now so that the poison will work very well.

A boy's letter to his father

A father passing by his son’s bedroom just decides to check his son’s bedroom and was surprise to see his son’s bed neatly made up and the floor neatly swept. Then suddenly he saw an envelope on the pillow. Wondering what is in the envelope; he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great pain and sorrow that I'm writing to you., I had to move to my girlfriend’s house because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real love with Kate and she is so nice and caring. I knew you would not approve her for me because of her behavior, how she dress and what she wear and the tattoos all over her body and probably because she is much older than I am but it's not only the Love, Dad, Kate is pregnant. She said that we are going to be very happy and we will be okay. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter and we hope of having more children.
Kate has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone. We'll be planting it and selling it to other people in the community for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Kate can get better; Dad, I'm 16 years old now so you don’t have to worry about me I can take care of myself. I know for sure that, someday, we'll be back to visit you so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

                                                                                                               Your son, Junior
Please Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at David’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!